What's in a name...

I just found out that my name, Meta, is the 2,397th most popular name in the country and that there are 6,100 other people with the first name Meta. WTF?!? That's 6,000 more people than I want having the name "Meta". Nice job on the rare name, Kate and Phil. How rare can a name be if 6,100 other people have it? So much for my theory that I don't need a last name, like Madonna or Cher, clearly I do so I'm not mistaken for the other 6,099 people named "Meta". I mean, who is gonna confuse Madonna Jones for Madonna who sings dances and is bendable? No one, that's who! Unless they are the spitting image of one another and Madonna Jones is also a singer...and also is bendable. I shouldn't be talking about Madonna Jones, I don't even know her.

My point is, I can't just use "Meta" as my only name because what if, just what if I leave an important message for someone and say "Call me back, I have free Madonna tickets...actual Madonna, not Madonna Jones...oh yeah, it's Meta" and the person CALLS THE WRONG META! I mean, the poor person will miss out and call some other Meta because I didn't have enough sense to use my last name. Or what if, just what if, I get picked for Jeopardy!(I'm very smart, this boog proves it) and I just give my first name on the application thinking "no one can mistake me for anyone, I'm Meta, bitch" and Alex Trebek gets on the phone and calls Meta Larsen from Shreveport. And I know that Alex would be the one making that call! It would be a tragedy.

I guess I should count my blessings that I found this out before I got all Meta-cocky and dropped "Kroker" from my name. And I guess I should also count my blessings that my name isn't Elizabeth, then there would be about 1.5 million people I could get mistaken for if I didn't have a last name. And now that I know there 304, 976,555 people in the US(I don't know if they count homeless people) and only 6,100 have my first name and only 1 with my exact name, I realize I should just shut the hell up.

http://howmanyofme.com/