Yesterday was a big day for Olympicrack, but sadly I missed most of it because I was sleeping. Thanks to the headlines on Yahoo though, I wasn't in the dark for long. I got ambushed while trying to sign into my mail, although it wasn't the first time I was ambushed by a results headline, so I don't know why I was surprised. Methinks my Olympicrack-addicted mind needed a fix and it forced my eyes downward, causing me to see what had taken place while I was in my Olympicrack-induced coma. Then, like a fiend, once I knew what I happened I scoured the internet for information, lapping up every word and picture I could find until I was sated.
Let's start with the bad news, and the sporting event I can barely think about because I'm so devasted by the result. The US Women's softball team lost the gold medal game to Japan and are the 2008 silver medalists. Oh my god, I just got a lump in my throat as I wrote that. The US hitters were no match for Japan's Yukiko Ueno, who after pitching 715 innings the day before, probably felt like 7 more against the US was a piece of cake. The US made two uncharacteristic errors, allowing Japan to get some State Farm. But they didn't need it, the US couldn't push more than 1 run across the plate. That run came courtesy of Marla Hooch, aka Crystl Boustos...what a hitter. Ms. Boustos also won the sportsmanship award for being the first US player to pick her jaw up off the ground and congratulate Japan on their big win. I can't blame the US for being shocked though, they haven't lost since 2000. See, that's why I prefer being a huge loser, that way I'm never disappointed! But it's the end of an era for US Softball, 5 of their top players officially retired from international competition by placing their cleats at home plate after the game. I sure hope those cleats went to some needy softball players. Farewell to Boustos, Laura Berg, Kelly Kretchman, Tairia Flowers, and 1 of my top 5 softball hotties, Lovieanne Jung. Also farewell to softball as an Olympic sport, at least for the London games. Hopefully the Japanese win will make the IOC open their stupid friggin eyes and see that softball is a global sport. By pulling it from the Olympics, they are destroying the dreams of hundreds of women and girls across the world, plus they are eliminating some 200 female athletes from Olympic competition. Just when teams other than the US start getting their talent together and solidifying their programs, the friggin IOC pulls the sport. As if softball is the only sport dominated by 1 country...hello table tennis? Badminton? Diving? As you can see, this is a sore subject with me, so I'll move on before the IOC comes a' knockin at my door. Yes it was a sad day for US softball, and softball in general and if you didn't feel like jumping into your tv a giving #1 softball hottie Jenny Finch a big hug as she wiped a tear from her eye, well then you're just not human...or you're a gay man...or a straight woman...
In other depressing Olympicrack news, the US relay teams really screwed the pooch, both teams dropping their shafts in the preliminary round. I mean, those things are hollow, so they are shafts, right? I think the official term is "baton", but those don't look like batons, they look like shafts. Shafts it is! Both teams were favored to compete for gold, both failed...wah wah. In other track and field news: racewalking is the most hilarious thing I've ever watched.
Now for the good news. I was a Negative Nelly about the US Women's soccer team as soon as my #1 soccer hottie Abby Wambach, went down with a broken leg before the Olympics. I said they didn't stand a chance for the gold without her, especially against Brazil. Boy am I eating my words...and they taste like delicious gold. Never have I been happier to be wrong about something. Well, except for one time when I thought I dislocated my shoulder but really my bra strap was too tight, but whatever. Anypiddle, in a match against Brazil in which they were basically chasing Marta and Christiane all over the field, the US came up with 1 goal in extra time and that's all they needed. Well, that and #2 soccer hottie and Olympic bad-a**, Hope Solo. For those of you who don't know, at the last Women's World Cup,Hope Solo was pulled from the match against Brazil in favor of veteran goalkeeper Briana Scurry and the US got shredded in that game. Brazil made them look as bad as my old soccer team, the Typhoons, which I played on when I was 7. They lost 4 to nothing and after the game Hope Solo ripped her coach for benching her(he is now the ex-coach) and was banished from the bronze medal game. How do you spell "redemption", Ms. Solo? How about by making 6 ridonkulous saves against one of the best teams in the world on arguably the biggest stage in the world. Yeah, I think that spells "redemption" just fine. Big ups to Carli Lloyd(#3 soccer hottie) for scoring the lone goal in the 6th minute of overtime. Also, big ups to Natasha Kai(#4 soccer hottie and she goes to my church!) for taking her top off in celebration.
In other gold medal news, the US Men's beach volleyball completed the "Sand Sweep" by taking the gold against Brazil. The US Men and Women's indoor volleyball teams both advanced to the gold medal game and the US will be looking for a complete volleyball sweep in the days to come.
Lastly, who doesn't love that whack-a-mole Usain Bolt? What a trip...
**For those of you who don't think I'm writing enough about the men, I say 'shut it'. This boog is written by a lady lover so you best believe I'm all about focusing on the womens and their *cough* athletic prowess. You want a boog about men, write it yourself**
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