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Friday, November 14, 2008

I have to talk about Proposition 8

I hate to get all serious on you guys, I know it freaks people out when I'm serious, so I'll be as brief as possible, but I have to talk about this. The same day we showed amazing progress as a nation by electing Barack Obama as our next president, we took a huge step back with the passing of Proposition 8 in California. Proposition 8 is something very close to my heart as a gay woman in this country who is unable to legally marry the person she loves. When I saw that 52% of Cali voters said "Yes" to Prop 8, I was gobsmacked. How could this happen, and in California of all places? It felt like just yesterday gay marriages were legalized...and kind of it was just yesterday, since it was this past May. I hear all the religious talk about the Bible and it being wrong in the Bible...well the Bible isn't the law, and not everyone believes in the Bible, or God for that matter. That's what religious freedom is all about in this country, they don't have to if they don't want to. Plus, if the Bible was the law, some of you would be getting creamed for suckin on that crab leg you've got in your mouth right now, so aren't we all pretty glad it's not? This isn't a religious matter, it is a matter of civil rights, of human rights. I am a citizen of this country, I pay taxes in this country, yet I am not given the same rights as my fellow straight man because God, yes God, decided I was strong enough to be gay in this country. And it takes alot of strength, it is not an easy road to walk, which is why I don't understand anyone who thinks this is a choice to be made. I would hope that as human beings, those people could strip away their religion for a second and see the utter disgrace that is discrimination and the hate that it fuels. I know that's wishful thinking, and I can't do much more than support my fellow gays, support the cause, and support those who support us. I will keep living my life out and in the open, with the hope that will help people see this is a "normal" way of life. I will keep calling The Joyous One my "wife", because that's what she is to me and to the people who know us. I will keep fighting for rights that I shouldn't have to fight for. Love knows no color, loves knows no gender, love is love is love is love.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you're near one of the 80 cities hosting a protest this Saturday Nov 15th, please consider joining in my fight. It would mean more than you'll ever know.


Monday, November 10, 2008

Having cake and wanting to eat it? Absurd...

I don't think I understand the saying "have your cake and eat it too". I mean, I understand it because I understand English, I guess I don't understand why wanting to eat a cake that you have is a bad thing. That saying is usually tossed around as a bad thing. Like, "Yeah the bastard won't say we're exclusive, he just wants to have his cake and eat it too." Well, duh, who has a cake, and doesn't want to eat it? Isn't that why you bought the cake, to eat it? Isn't the ultimate goal of a newborn cake to be eaten? I would be so depressed if I was a cake and no one wanted to eat me. Plus, people don't buy a cake and get in trouble for eating it. Unless of course, they are forbidden from cake eating by their doctor, or religion, or spouse, or the law(I bet some small towns have a cake law, like the law about no dancing in the movie "Footloose"). But could you imagine if that was illegal? You'd have to eat your cake in secret because having a cake is fine, but you cannot have a cake if you intend to eat it. The police bust into your house on a cake-raid, cuffing you, and forcing you outside wearing nothing but a t-shirt and underpants, frosting smeared all over your face, crumbs adorning your t-shirt, your neighbors come out and say things like, "Gosh, she seemed so normal" and "It's always the quiet ones", all because you were eating the cake you had. I'm thinking that wordage needs to be changed, because to me, there is nothing wrong with having a cake and wanting to eat it.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Fingerish, ish-ish...

If it weren't for my fingers, I wouldn't know anything. Why? Well I'll tell you why. Let's say someone approaches me on the street and says "Angelina Jolie is walking up on your left." If it weren't for my left index finger and thumb forming an "L", I would not know my left from right, and therefore would not know which direction to turn in order to greet Ms. Jolie. I would hastily turn to my right, since that's my power side, and I would miss the chance to impress Angie(I'm sure upon meeting me that is what she would ask me to call her) with a witty statement and an adorable smile. And yes, I always make the "L" when confronted w/ something being to my left or my right because you never can be too sure.

Now let's say you're at a gala, a fancy gala, although aren't all galas fancy? Maybe not like, a gala celebrating Comb Day, but maybe that would be fancy too. I think once you throw "gala" into the blender it's gotta be a fancy event. Okay, so, you're at a fancy, a regular gala because I've just established that all galas are fancy and the term "fancy gala" is redundant. You're at a regular gala and you're sitting with several dignitaries...don't ask me how you got the invitation, maybe you won it in a poker game. So, the dignitaries are not yet impressed with you because you're drinking Coors Light from the bottle and you told a blonde joke right when you sat down in an attempt to break the ice, not realizing that all of the dignitaries at your table were blonde, galas are usually pretty dark, so that could happen. And then saying that you "thought y'all were albinos or just really old" did not help your cause. In your defense, it was a good joke that had gone over well in the past when you told it. Sure, you told it to a group of douchebags, but whatever. So, you want to try your darndest to impress the offended dignitaries when the bread gets set down right in front of you. One of the dignitaries asks you politely to please pass the bread, but you want bread before you pass it. However, you've got a bread plate on both sides of you. You put your bread on the wrong plate and you can bet your a** those albino dignitaries are gonna rough you up gala-style. You start to sweat, you're throat becomes dry and you frantically search for water. Now you're faced w/ another dilemma as there is a water glass on either side of you. Rather than embarrass yourself by choosing wrong, you throw a piece of bread to the dignitary, excuse yourself and high-tail it outta there. Gala-failure. If only you knew the simple trick I learned from The Joyous One's cousin...all you have to do is make a circle with your forefinger and thumb on both hands. Put your other fingers straight up, and on your left hand you will have made a "b" for "bread" and on your right a "d" for "drink". Sure, you may look a little silly doing that in front of dignitaries, but some dignitaries have been known to find that kind of thing charming. At least the dignitaries I run around with.

Um, so I guess I just wanted to say that we should all thank our fingers because not only do they help with things like writing and eating and typing and snapping, they also help us at fancy galas...sorry, regular galas...and when needing to distinguish left and right. Yay fingers!