Last night was my favorite night of Olympicrack ever...EVER!!! Unless you live under a rock, or are a communist, then you know that the USA went 1 and 2 in the women's gymnastics all around final. Nastia "The Blond Swan" Liukin took the gold and Shawn "Pocket Pistol" Johnson took the silver. It didn't start well, after Nastia's nearly perfect vault received a mark of 15.025(that's low for what she did y'all, just watch the tape) I thought judging was gonna be Nasti...and it was for awhile. I'm not sure what the judges were watching on their monitors, but I'm guessing it was "Lost" because that's what they seemed to be. Drawn-out delays between gymnasts, arguing, phone chatter, an angry woman in a red blazer storming all over the place, plus Elfie, Tim and Al talking sh*t about the scoring in the background made me suspicious. At one point, I'm sure I saw one of the judges on the phone say "I really don't know what I'm doing, I just needed the money".
After vault was the uneven bars. The Blond Swan was beyond beautiful w/ her graceful lines, challenging pirouettes and big air release moves. On her dismount, she stepped forward a bit, but Tim assured us it was only a .10 deduction. She scored pretty high on bars as we've come to expect from Nastia. Then came China's Yilin Yang who did a routine nearly identical to The Nasty One(I mean that as a total compliment), took the same step on the dismount and...scored higher. I know, I know, it makes no sense. And then, the icing on the shitcake, Shawn got the shaft on her near-perfect bars routine. Trust me, I was conspiracy theory-ing and "what the f*cking" all over my living room. I left quite a mess.
The "judges" finally got it together on the last 2 apparatuses(apparati?), balance beam and floor(those are also my least favorite apparati because I just picture someone smacking their face on the 4-inch beam, or building up too much steam on the floor and ending up on the judges table). Nastia and Shawn would have to be practically perfect...and they were, beating Yilin Yang to take silver and gold, breaking her heart and the hearts of 45 kajillion Chinese people. Their last two routines left no doubt who the best all around gymnasts were...USA...USA...USA.
OMG Meta, I almost bit it on my cookie dough while reading this, which is dangerous because you know how I am about eating alone, and it's cookie dough, for God's sake...its already a blended food. You should be getting paid for how you think.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading that you nearly choked on a blended item, I think you need to be blending even your already blended-foods...clearly you are not safe unless it's pure liquid...now, pay me, since you think I should be getting paid for how I think...hehe...
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