Market Gays

Hey y'all, so this weekend was the Northalsted Street Market Days festival(read:an 8 block gay club w/ fried food). It's one of my favorite weekends of the year, and this year did not disappoint. There was hanging out, cruising the streets, judging of people from windows high above the crowd, laughing, jello shots, being mistaken for a worker at Yoshi's Cafe, cheeseburger eating, Expose watching, slipping on a pickle or something resembling a pickle, using of the men's room at Roscoe's, ordering and consumption of 2 breakfasts(you know who you are!), hysterical belly laughter causing toast to go in my lung, a girlfight(you know who you are!), the pulling of pancakes out of a purse, ridiculous tee-shirt purchasing, more laughing, interaction w/ an annoying stranger at Buck's, and finally watching the Cubbies win at The North End. And did I mention the laughing? Seriously, I love my friends, everyone was on fire this weekend! Thanks guys, y'all be crackin me up!

I did notice that there were an inordinate amount of purses at Market Gays. Now, I'm not a purse hater, my friends carry purses, my wife carries a purse. But there are some very irresponsible purse carriers out there, and I think most of them were at Market Gays. They swing their purses about as if unaware of their extra appendage. How am I supposed to watch Expose if I'm being shoved off the curb by a Dooney & Bourke(raise your hand if you're surprised that I busted that out)? That's right, I can't, it's distracting. And a little painful it you catch the corner of someone's purse in your ribcage. Not to mention the unfair space advantage it gives to the lady(or fashion forward man) carrying the purse. You're talking about an extra foot of space in some cases. Maybe I need to fight back, engage in some elbow-purse combat. If I stand with both hands on my hips, elbows pointed, and turn side to side, I'll create some extra room that a purse can't penetrate. Sure I'll look like an a**, but at least I'll avoid getting pursed. So if you're reading this, and you're a purse owner, please think of us wallet carrying lesbians and men, who don't have any defense against your purses. We know you don't mean it when you turn quickly and cold cock us in the chin, but it stings nonetheless. Please try and purse responsibly. This message was brought to you by LAMPPS(Lesbians And Men Protesting Purse Swinging)