November's gonna suck...

October 2008 was like, the most concertdiculous month for me of all time. Seriously, I'm in a concert coma, I've got jam-band gingivitis, arena-anephylactic-shock, I need rock-n-roll rehab...okay, that's getting annoying. But for real tho, my October was straight up rockdiculous**note: if any of you hear me complaining about not having a New Year's resolution, tell me to quit making up words as my resolution, mkay?**
Here's a titty bitty rundown of who I saw, what I thought, and why you're stupid if you didn't come with me:

October 4th -- United Center, Tina Turner...you read me, TINA TURNER. I could go on and on about her gorgeous legs, but that's SO 1996 Hanes Wildest Dreams Tour when Tina and Oprah became Tinprah. Speaking of, she was totally at the show with a pocket-size Tom Cruise and of course the crowd went all apesh*t crazy when they came in. I was hoping that some of them would go really apesh*t crazy and fling poop at them...not that I don't like Oprah, it's just that poop flinging is funny no matter what, so long as it doesn't hit Gayle. Anysnapple, Tina was amazing. I found myself in awe of the fact that, at 70, she looks better than I ever will, sings better than I ever will, dances better than I ever will, and wears heels better than I ever will. I've seen her 4 times now, and she has never been this good...or had hotter dancers. I'd like to shake the hand of whoever it was that decided the dancers should wear nothing more than underwear and short skirts for the whole show. I'm hoping it was Tina, because then I would be able to shake the hand of a true living legend. Highlight of the show: at one point, Tina came over to the corner of the stage, and I sh*t you not, looked right at me and pointed as she sang "Nutbush City Limits". If you get a chance to see her, do not be stupid, drop everything and go. You'll thank me for it.

October 9th -- The Riviera, Tegan & Sara. Like a bad little lesbian, I tried forever to avoid this duo because I didn't want to look like one of those people who only likes a band because one or many of it's members go to homo church. Little did I know that Tegan & Sara were so crazy awesome. It wasn't long before I had all of their albums playing on a continuous iPod loop. I still do, actually. It's nuts, I'm addicted to them like crack...but good crack, not the kind that renders you toothless and butter-mouthed. Luckily, my friend Dan is also an addict, so I always will have a Tegan & Sara pal to go to the show with. Unfort for Dan and I, we also enjoy the booze a little, and this caused our judgement to be clouded when deciding the time we should leave for their Oct 9th show. The Joyous One warned us, but we were determined to miss the opening band, so we kept putting off the departure. That, and a slow cab driver caused us to miss the first 20 minutes, and I felt a little like crying, but then I got to hear so many songs that I loved that I recovered quickly. Their onstage banter had me green w/ envy, wishing I were clever, wishing I had a twin, wishing I could write a song. I often describe their voices as haunting, they stay with you like a ghost...a good ghost...a Casper...or a Small Wonder...wait, she's a robot...and she sucks...scratch the Small Wonder reference.

October 18th -- Heartland Cafe, Cathy Richardson Band...acoustic. If you know me at all, you know that Cathy Richardson Band is one of my favorite bands, and CR one of my favorite singers. I'm mildly obsessed...and by mildly I mean totally. The Heartland Cafe is a neat venue, small, intimate, but it's hotter than Satan's armpit in there, let me tell you. It was the perfect setting for the perfect CRB show, all requests, all the time. I'll have to ask my CRB rookie, Jessica, what she thought, since she was a first-timer. Of course The Joyous One, being the loudest in the room, pretty much ran things in terms of requests. She had good choices, so really I can't complain and CR must've liked them because she played every one. Anne Harris was of course by CR's side, jamming away on her fiddle. I'll tell ya, I didn't know I could be jealous of a fiddle until I became aware of Anne Harris. And while Tegan & Sara have that witty twin thing onstage, they don't have the market cornered on hilariousness. CR can not only sing the pants of you, she'll crack your sh*t up while she's doing it, and there you'll be, pantsless and laughing...and under arrest for indecent exposure.

October 21st -- Heartland Cafe, Jefferson Starship featuring Cathy Richardson. Yeah, so one night of CR was not enough for me, so I was off to the Heartland cafe for another taste, this time with Jefferson Starship. I was thrilled to hear 2 songs from The Weavers, including "Kisses Sweeter Than Wine", which quite possibly is my favorite song...ever. My dad raised me on a steady diet of The Weavers, so this show felt like home to me, except for the fact that I was practically sitting in a potted plant and it constantly felt like someone was fondling my hair, which doesn't happen at home, but whatever. They closed the show with the most awesome thing ever, a song from their new album which is a mix of "Imagine" and "Redemption Song"...I was blown away. My friend Annie declared that that song alone made the trip to Rogers Park totally worth it. I concur, Annie, I concur.

October 24th -- Allstate Arena, New Kids On The Block...yes those New Kids. You know what's more embarrassing than going to a NKOTB show at the age of 31? Enjoying it, that's what. It was my first ever NKOTB show, I wasn't all that into them way back when and because of that, I thought it would be a giggle to go to the show. Me and 4 others(who will remain nameless, but know who they are, Emily, Dawn, Molly, Nikki...woops) hopped in a limo like the cool kids we are and headed to the Allstate Arena. Little did we know, traffic wouldn't be bad and we would get there WELL before showtime, forcing us into Chili's to drink Mai Tai's with the other 30-something-chicks sporting NKOTB regalia and crimped hair. I found myself way more into the show than I thought I would be, almost buying a novelty "Donnie" button...but I refrained, unlike 2 people who will remain nameless, Emily and Nikki...woops. I sang along way more than I wanted to, smiled way more than I wanted to, and did a fair amount of laughing at myself for geeking out so hardcore. The only way to describe the show is horribly awesome. Oh, and for you Tila Tequila fans, last year's finalist Bo was at NKOTB...he and I had a cheers...to dorkhood apparently.

October 26th AND October 27th -- United Center, Ma-f*cking-donna. I really don't have to say much more than "Ma-f*cking-donna", but I will. I'm so spoiled rotten, I got to see Madonna 2 days in a row, and I will say that I'm a better person for it. The first night, we had awesome seats, so close to Madonna at times that I could see the veins in her awesomely muscular arms. I think the only time we sat down was during "You Must Love Me" and that was only because we were tired from dancing...at least I was. She busted out several songs off her new album, tons of old stuff including a punked-out "Borderline", a free-for-all "La Isla Bonita", and the song that brought The Joyous One to her knees...literally..."Like A Prayer". She played for 2 hours, no encore, which pissed me off initially, but then I realized I just watched Madonna and her muscles for 2 hours...what the eff was there to complain about? Actually, I did find 1 thing to complain about the first night...during the request portion, she played "Beautiful Stranger"...does anyone actually like that song? Enough to request it? Night 2 brought seats on the opposite side of where we were sitting the night before, and a little further from the stage so it was like a whole new show! Even though we weren't as close to Madonna, we saw more of her, if that makes sense. Night 2 also brought a far better request..."Dress You Up"...one of my favs. I left loving her more than I did when I got there, and I really didn't think that was possible. The Joyous One was hilarious/brilliant in her assessment of the Madge concerts, "Madonna never disappoints...the Cubs always do". Not sure what one has to do with the other, but hey, that's how The Joyous One sees it...

And so ends my Roctober wrap up(seriously, I need to quit that sh*t). I'd like to thank everyone that attended any of the shows with me, as their attendance was a big part of why it was so much fun... so thanks to The Joyous One, my mom, Monica, Dan, Jay, Annie, Jessica, Mike, Sean, Emily D, Dawn, Molly, and Nikki. Special extra thanks to Emily D, Dawn and Molly...y'all know what you did...