This morning, as I stood in my bathroom wearing only a birthday suit(unfort it was my birthday suit and not Heidi Klum's), I was faced with one of my worst fears. I had just hung my towel up behind the door when I heard a key rattling around my front door. There I was, in all of my naked glory, bathroom door wide open, and someone was coming into my house...**GASP**... the cleaning lady! I had been living with a fear of her busting in while I was traipsing around nakey for like 2 months, because for some reason, she was no longer telling us when she was coming or what time. Luckily, I have cat-like reflexes and I scooted quickly into my bedroom before she could see me. I was moving so fast that if she caught a glimpse, she would have just thought it was a speedy albino manatee...okay so those don't exist, but I'm sure that's what I looked like as I sprinted the 4 feet from my bathroom to my bedroom. As I wiggled and jiggled my way into safety, I screamed "Hi Mariya, I'm just getting dressed" to which she replied "Hello, I come early"...yeah, no sh*t, Mariya...you come WAY early...you should count your blessings that you didn't make the mistake of coming even earlier, although that's a mistake you wouldn't make twice.
For those of you who have seen my condo, you're probably wondering why we have a cleaning lady, and after my naked encounter today, I'm wondering myself. But I know I'll get home tonight, smell the Mr. Clean, run my hands along my sparkling counters, eat a gummy bear off my shiny floor, lick the bottom of my uber-spotless tub, and realize that being naked in front of a Russian woman is a small price to pay for a clean condo...
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